It's Thursday morning right now as I write, but I'm still not yet done with Wednesday. What a weird Wed !!
My older half-brother visited me all the sudden with the news of my father's sudden sikness, so I knew I had to go. I brought with me flowers with lots of different kinds of chocolate and mostly the "Maamoul" that Saudies are famous with. I bought the Mamoul for my grandmother. I have been through this once before, besides, I'm an adult now, I can handle seeing my father like that. I rarely see him in the first place, but now I have twice seen him weak.
My strong, tall, well-shaped feature man, is now sitting in front of me, with his body litraly been cut into halfs. I have never seen something quite like that in my whole life. I have never seen a man so sick, as how my father looked yesterday.
I didn't know what to feel exactly? Am I sad? Am I almost in tears? Am I paling, understand nothing about what exactly is happenning? Am I feeling for my father-am I his doughter? Is he is my father?
I couldn't identify it to be certain, I felt extremely sorry for him, never imagined that that could happen in a normal Wednesday, however, I felt like an outsider, as if am visiting my second relative, may be even more far than just that!
What a waste of life !! What a waste of a father!! What a waste of a doughter!
It's too late to go back and collect our remainings. There is no way, my father and I can catch it up and re-do it agian. This relationship is imposible from the beginning.
It's sad, that my dad is not able to see me, nor appreciate me. He didn't seem to be caring about me much, even though my half-brother told me that when my father was in the hospital this week; he asked about me, and therefore he sent my half-brother to bring me to him.
The way my dad cares about me is a way that I don't believe is the right way. I see how he treats my half-brothers, and I see how he treats me. I do my best and he does what he is able to do.
The whole time during my visit, I showed my generousity to the best I can, then I was ignored, and then I returned home, not even once been asked the same questions that he asked his other kids.
I just recognized how life is weird. Lives are been ruined for the rest of their lives. Who is to blame when a child spends his whole childhood and all his life without a father? Who is to blame?
Ironically, I don't blame dad, nor do I blame anybody else! If I blame him then I wouldn't be kind with him.
Life is being weird, to show us what normal: If we know what is normal directly, then we wouldn't have to live this weirdness!
My older half-brother visited me all the sudden with the news of my father's sudden sikness, so I knew I had to go. I brought with me flowers with lots of different kinds of chocolate and mostly the "Maamoul" that Saudies are famous with. I bought the Mamoul for my grandmother. I have been through this once before, besides, I'm an adult now, I can handle seeing my father like that. I rarely see him in the first place, but now I have twice seen him weak.
My strong, tall, well-shaped feature man, is now sitting in front of me, with his body litraly been cut into halfs. I have never seen something quite like that in my whole life. I have never seen a man so sick, as how my father looked yesterday.
I didn't know what to feel exactly? Am I sad? Am I almost in tears? Am I paling, understand nothing about what exactly is happenning? Am I feeling for my father-am I his doughter? Is he is my father?
I couldn't identify it to be certain, I felt extremely sorry for him, never imagined that that could happen in a normal Wednesday, however, I felt like an outsider, as if am visiting my second relative, may be even more far than just that!
What a waste of life !! What a waste of a father!! What a waste of a doughter!
It's too late to go back and collect our remainings. There is no way, my father and I can catch it up and re-do it agian. This relationship is imposible from the beginning.
It's sad, that my dad is not able to see me, nor appreciate me. He didn't seem to be caring about me much, even though my half-brother told me that when my father was in the hospital this week; he asked about me, and therefore he sent my half-brother to bring me to him.
The way my dad cares about me is a way that I don't believe is the right way. I see how he treats my half-brothers, and I see how he treats me. I do my best and he does what he is able to do.
The whole time during my visit, I showed my generousity to the best I can, then I was ignored, and then I returned home, not even once been asked the same questions that he asked his other kids.
I just recognized how life is weird. Lives are been ruined for the rest of their lives. Who is to blame when a child spends his whole childhood and all his life without a father? Who is to blame?
Ironically, I don't blame dad, nor do I blame anybody else! If I blame him then I wouldn't be kind with him.
Life is being weird, to show us what normal: If we know what is normal directly, then we wouldn't have to live this weirdness!
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